


My Heart

by ansd



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: F/F, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ansd/pseuds/ansd
Summary: I posted this on Fanfiction originally, but I wanted more people to see it so here it is:*This is my first. Rip it apart. Give me legitimate criticism because I do want my writing to get better. It isn't very good right now, but I hope it will.* Harumi's heart can't take it anymore.





	My Heart

"Dudududu," Harumi said as she continued to pour more and more into her glass. She laughed a little at the sound she was making causing her to spill some onto her shirt. "Ahhhhhhh ma-hic-n," Harumi said, but she quickly waved it off. 'Tomorrow, tomorrow…' she thought as she downed the drink.

She slammed the glass back onto the counter signaling to the bartender that she was ready for another.

"Ma'am, we've been over this…" the bartender sighed.

"Cooome onnn? How *hic* times have I…" Harumi trailed off as she tried to keep her head from slamming into the table. After a couple of minutes Harumi gave up and placed her head on the table. She began to drag her nail across the oak counter lazily drawing circles. Her life. How did it come this? Oh right her. Always her. Blonde… blondo… blondino… The one person in her life that she loved. The only one she ever will. But fate seemed to deal her a bad hand this time.

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves, she loves me not… she never loved me," Harumi whispered as tears pooled in her eyes. She continuously turned the glass as the ice swiveled with every turn slowly melting. She almost didn't even register the door slamming open if it wasn't the person's bright quite literally, at least in her eyes, shining. The person's eyes scanned around the dinky bar until they locked onto to Harumi.

With a sigh Yuzu practically ran to her. As she approached Harumin gripped the glass as tightly as she could. 'Not this time…' Harumi thought as the blonde approached her.

"Harumi… Again?" Yuzu sighed. Harumi shrugged. After all this isn't the first as it sure as hell would not be the last. Drinking helped too much.

"Bet… bet… betterrr th-an drugs am I rit…" Harumi replied as she continued turning the glass. Yuzu took a seat next to her best friend. Ever since the wedding, Harumi wasn't her Harumin anymore. Her eyes lost her fire, her spark. Everyday she slowly saw her friend fall deeper and deeper. Everyday she would leave earlier and earlier. And everyday Yuzu would she more and more wasted than the last time. Every time Harumin promised she would just go back to drinking again. And again. And again; the endless cycle repeating itself over and over again.

"Harumi. Do you remember what you promised me last time?" Yuzu asked as she waved to the bartender. Bartender waved back and continued cleaning glasses.

"To not drink," Harumin answered.

"And what did you do?" Yuzu asked.

"Drink." Harumi responded. Yuzu sighed. 'As blunt as ever…' Yuzu thought as she pulled out her phone. She texted to Mei that it was going to be a while.

*Hey. Harumi. Found her, but this one is gonna take a while*

*Do you need me to help?*

*Yea… she seems really drunk this time…*

*Of course. I'm on my way*

"Mei right…" Harumi said answering her own question.

"Yeah… She'll be coming to help me take you hom-" Harumi picked up the closest empty bottle and smashed it against the table. Yuzu yelped in shock as she moved back to stop the shards from hitting her.

"HARUMI? WHAT THE HELL?" Yuzu yelled as the bartender sighed. Harumi shrugged and placed her head back on the table, but before she could Yuzu grabbed the hand Harumin had used.

"Harumi! Jesus christ!? What the hell is going on with you?" she asked. Harumi didn't look at her in the eye. She didn't want to look into the eyes of the one she loved. As Yuzu inspected her hand, Harumi thought back to all the times that Yuzu and she would hug. She craved the brief contact and loved it every single time, but after the wedding, she knew she would never to feel the rest of her.

"Your bleeding Harumi! Jesus Christ you could've seriously hurt yourself! I can't beli- Oh man this one is really bad- Akira towels please?" Yuzu sputtered as she began to pick the shards out of her hand. Akira brought a stack of towels and sighed. 'More cleaning tonight… Yay…' Akira thought. Yuzu grabbed one and began to clean Harumin's hand. She sighed as she used towel after towel. "Harumi… What happened to you?" Yuzu said as she looked at Harumi. "Harumi… look at me… please… You're breaking my heart…" Yuzu pleaded. Harumi couldn't. She just couldn't deal with this torture anymore. 'I'm… I'm… I'M BREAKING YOUR HEART?' Harumi thought. She stared at Yuzu straight into her yellow eyes Yuzu stared at her stunned. 'Shit… I said it out loud,' Harumi thought.

"Harumi… Yes… you are," Yuzu said as stared back.

"Your… your heart… My… my… my heart. What about my heart? Wha-wha-what about what you've done to me. To my heart. I-I-I-I-I…" Harumi stopped.

Yuzu asked softly, "What did I do to your heart?"

Harumi snapped, "YOU BROKE IT YOU BITCH YOU BROKE IT IN TWO YOU FUCKIN BROKE IT MEI YOU BOTH OF YOU FUCKIN BROKE IT. I CAN'T EVEN- I CAN'T EVEN… FUCK YOU FUCK MEI FUCK YOU BOTH… I HATE YOU I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I-" Harumin stopped and tears just kept rolling down her face. She loved her. She loved Yuzu. But now. Now she could never have her. "I… I…" Harumi wanted to be sorry wanted to say that she could never hate either, but she couldn't. Right now she felt nothing, but pure hatred. An unfair world where she would never find anyone and even if she did she knew she couldn't love them.

Between her sobs Harumi gasped, "I love you… I love you so much… I love you..." Yuzu stared at her shocked. She couldn't respond, there was no answer to this problem. Nothing she could do even if she wanted. Yuzu tried to give Harumi a reassuring hug, but she shrank away.

Yuzu heard the door open and as she glanced up she saw Mei. She simply mouthed, "What happened?" Yuzu shook her head. She didn't even know.


End file.
